


Small Vices

by madame_le_maire



Series: Paws of the Law [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Face Squirrels, Fix-It, Fluff, Gen, Implied Relationship, M/M, Mercy and Justice - squirrels of the law, Post-Seine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:26:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madame_le_maire/pseuds/madame_le_maire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not as if Mercy and Justice dislike their work. Yet, being stuck under a hat all day can get boring. </p><p>Inspector Javert has to find a solution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Small Vices

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Something Different](https://archiveofourown.org/works/708817) by [Carmarthen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmarthen/pseuds/Carmarthen). 



> Shout-out to les miseres for the cheerleading!
> 
> Thank you to [carmarthen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmarthen/) and [calvin](http://archiveofourown.org/users/drcalvin/), my superhero betas <3

“Now there,“ Javert grumbled as Justice emerged from underneath the hat and started nibbling at his ear. “This is quite improper. We are at work.”

Justice darted back up with an annoyed chitter, but not before giving him a particularly stinging bite. Javert winced, yet was glad of the lack of squirrel crawling around on him while he was patrolling. However, scarcely five minutes later, he felt a tickle over his other ear. It took him a moment to realize that it was Mercy grooming him. Javert glanced around quickly to make sure no one was watching.

“What is the matter with you today?” he asked incredulously after fishing both squirrels out from under his hat. He was answered by a whining squeal from Justice and Mercy’s more subdued but just as miserable chirp.

“What!” he cried out after a moment, “you want to tell me that you’re bored?”

***

The only solution Javert could think of was to busy the squirrels with food. While he kept nuts in his pockets, he had always been careful with the rationing, for both disciplinary and practical reasons. Now he doubled the amount.

It did not go well.

The squirrels’ shenanigans stopped. But Javert now shed nutshells wherever he went. They slipped under the collar of his coat and shirt, poking him and making him wince and jump at the most inappropriate of times. When Javert took off his hat after a long day of work, he only had to shake his head to have shells and little pieces of nut fly through the air. To make the situation worse, this made Valjean laugh. The activity of dusting the inner brim of his hat, now perpetually lined with nut crumbs, had to be added to the evenings. Javert sighed, but said nothing.

***

“Whatever is that peculiar smell?”

“What do you mean, Officer Girard?” Javert asked, not looking up from his report, but enunciating every word carefully. He heard Girard swallow.

“I just thought, Inspector… it definitely smells of nuts.”

“Have you not had lunch, Officer?”

“Why yes, sir.”

“Not enough of it, apparently.”

Poor officer Girard, newly promoted and not yet used to his superior’s ways, promptly fled the room, while Javert scowled at the wall.

*** 

“This simply will not do,” Javert finally exclaimed one morning. “I am going to need a new hat!”

Mercy and Justice traded a guilty look. All attempts to fit them under the hat had been futile. In fact, they did look considerably chubbier to his eye.

No hatter’s shop was open that morning and so Javert had to report for duty sans squirrels. While ignoring his coworkers’ bewildered looks at his apparent loss of sideburns, he contemplated the situation. He realized he quite liked his old hat. A new one would cost him money he would rather not part with and also, a larger hat would look ridiculous on his person. The overeating had to stop.

But how else could he keep the squirrels from driving him mad with their boredom? No idea for a calm pastime seemed viable. Valjean was no help, stealing out of the room with a sheepish look whenever he saw him brooding. They both knew he slipped them sweets when Javert was not looking. Javert was near the brink of despair when finally a case gave him an idea. Outlandish, yes, but a possible escape from these unsatisfying circumstances.

Javert bought several sheets of thick, creamy paper and a box of coloured pencils and set to work. The squirrels shuffled around him in curiosity when he sat down at the fireplace in the evenings, chair and table turned away with care, while Valjean shot him amused glances over the edge of his book.

"You’ll know soon enough,” Javert told the squirrels, pointing strictly at the open window.

If they were to fit under the hat again, they would have to start their new exercise regime. The criminal world had not stopped turning and working without his squirrels, Javert almost sullenly admitted to himself, was a bother. In the fight against the crooks of Paris, two extra pairs of vigilant ears and sharp-clawed paws did not go amiss.

***

Weeks passed. The squirrels were almost back to their earlier shapes, the considerate Mercy somewhat more so. Tomorrow would be the day they would finally accompany Javert to work once again.

“Well,” Javert said, clearing his throat. The squirrels, sitting before him on the table, looked at him expectantly. Scowling as he always did when he was forced to do something nice, he reached into his pocket.

“Your complaint about the tediousness of working conditions has been noted. Since boredom decreases the motivation for work and thus its efficiency, I have decided to present something to lessen it – purely out of professional necessity, of course.”

And with that, he laid a squirrel-sized deck of cards onto the table.

There was a beat before both Justice and Mercy chattered with delight and rushed over to the deck to inspect the cards with their little paws, continuing to converse with each other all the while.

“I do hope this is sufficient,” Javert said, “Double Solitaire should be easy enough to learn – what? Anniversary? Today? I did not even think of that! Purely professional, everything.”

At that, Mercy cheeped something he did not understand into Justice’s ear and the following chirps sounded too much like laughing for his comfort. Javert’s scowl turned even darker, but the squirrels just chittered on happily.

***

Finally, Javert could put the hat with its familiar weight on his head again, soft fur against his cheeks, and his colleagues let out a relieved breath at the resumption of the so unsettlingly disrupted routine. As far as Javert was concerned, changes could never mean anything good, so they said.

Javert himself was content. No more untimely nibbling, no more nut crumbs. No more of Valjean’s recent habit of brushing his lips across his bare cheek before he left for work, either, but one could not have it all. Sometimes the tails twitched and he could hear muffled little squeaks from underneath the hat. Javert suspected they had started gambling for nuts. He turned a blind eye to it, just as he did on the occasions when he found traces of buttered almonds in his hair.

Small vices could prevent great ones, after all.


End file.
